These are councils from your friend and Godfather-to-be. They are not meant to take the place of a Father Confessor, once you have received the Holy Mysteries, or to presume the place of the one charged with your catechesis.
The icon corner
Treat the icon corner always with reverence and as an occasion to pray, if only briefly. It is the chapel of the home. When passing it, stop to face it not too hastily, and cross yourself. Use the lighting of the lamp to draw yourself into prayer. Do not hesitate to look directly at the icons when praying, as your rule of prayer is memorized; they are for the eyes. Venerate them as you would any image of the Saints and Our Lord. At the same time, do not be delicate by avoiding the icon corner and prayer, out of a presumed humility when you sin. That form of gluttony is a passion and the tool of the enemy. Keep your prayer rule short enough to be manageable in morning, evening, and at special times, so that you are not frustrated, and add to it only gradually in conversation with your Father Confessor. If others are around, do not pray with the heterodox, nor pray with an audience. For the non-Orthodox who are not heterodox, offer them to pray along with you or ask for privacy.
Prayer at mealtimes
It is better not to eat, than to eat and not pray. It is customary to pray Our Lord's Prayer, without adding the priest's part: "For Thine is the Kingdom…" or to pray another pious prayer that confesses the Incarnation and that reminds of us what we are doing…
The eyes of all hope in Thee, O Lord, and Thou givest them their food in due season. Thou openest Thy generous hand and fillest every living thing with good will.
If you also pray after meals, pray such a prayer as this:
We thank Thee, O Christ our God, that Thou has sated us with the good things of Thine earth: do not deprive us also of Thy heavenly Kingdom.
The fathers tell us not to eat until full, but stop while still a little hungry. Besides, the stomach does not tell the brain it is full, until about 20 minutes after it has had enough. Be willing to leave a little on the plate; it is not waste, rather waste is the energy lost on too much preoccupation with food.
Pray always "In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
Pray the Jesus prayer at all times when the slightest need or inclination is felt, and at some times simply as a way of living, or as a discipline. Do not try to regulate your breathing or engage in any other ascetic exercise without consulting your Father Confessor.
The pious customs
Do not be weighed down with too much pressure, either self-imposed or presumably imposed by others, to learn and keep all pious customs as though they were commandments. But gradually add every pious custom to your own customs. It is not necessary to stock your icon corner with every implement, nor keep all the hours as a monastic would. It is likely not possible without damaging much that is necessary for life, for your salvation. At the same time, do not cling too much to the beauty of sparse offerings, since Orthodoxy is the fullness of the fullness of piety. Again, gradually seek the fullness of piety. It is a path of discernment that we must not ignore things merely because they interfere with our enjoyment, or require of us some rigor, but we must not presume to be gladiators just yet. When we are lazy, we should remember the old women, the Archbishop of venerable age, and those on crutches and with canes, who stand in long services without flinching, like warriors in an arena. When we are weighed down, we should remember St. Seraphim's simple icon of the Theotokos, and the Jesus Prayer, and ask of ourselves just a little more – only a little, not a lot. If anyone corrects you in simple piety, try to learn and to follow, if the custom is truly pious and if it is not too burdensome. Discuss all things with your Father Confessor.
It is not possible to read every book that others or one's own
intellect may suggest, however holy or important they are. At the same time, it
is a good idea to always keep a book going. While some prescribe reading the
lives of the saints, and others the desert fathers (always with the blessing
and conversation of one's Father Confessor), and still others history, the
fathers, or the work of the latest scholar or thinker (which are sometimes
erroneously called theologians), it is good to consult one's Father Confessor
on such things, and to find one's own way. Advice can be helpful; just as one
would ask instructions for reaching
In university, my Professor advised me to read what interests me, and the moment it doesn't interest me to put it down. Subject, of course, to one's catechetical instructor, and one's Father Confessor, I would suggest in your case, reading the Fathers – not the Desert Fathers, for now, but that these be read with help from those who know the difference between a Father, an early Christian writer, and a heretic, which often appear in the same volumes, collection, and editions.
You definitely want the Apostolic Fathers, with the
aforementioned provisos. The SVS Press editions of later Fathers are compact
(notably, the works of St. John of Damascus and St. Theodore the Studite, on
the Holy icons, and
In short, be reading something, and read as gradually or voraciously as you feel is right, consulting your catechetical instructor and later Father Confessor, and read always with prayer, realizing that reading is a form of prayer, but do not drown in books at the expense of the rest of your Faith.
Ours is a mind of repentance and mourning illuminated by joy. The fathers teach us to say "All will be saved, and I alone will be condemned." When asked who crucified Christ, the proper response is "I did." When one of the fathers was asked who the sheep are and who are the goats, he replied "I am one of the goats, but as for the sheep, God alone knows who they are." Our Lord has said to us, "When you have done all that is commanded you, say 'We are useless servants; we have only done what was our duty." In the Gregorian Rite, the communicants say with the Roman officer, "Lord, I am not worthy that Thou shouldst come under my roof, but speak the word only, and my soul shall be healed."
And yet, it is healing. We also say "O death, where is thy sting? O Hades, where is thy victory? Christ is risen, and you are annihilated. Christ is risen, and the demons have fallen." Fr. Silouan of Athos says, "Keep your mind in Hell and despair not." This is a difficult balance, and is an area of discernment. Remember your sins, and be humble and aware of your helplessness without Our Lord, but do not despair (which is a passion), and let nothing rob you of His Glorious Resurrection, which the enemy is always trying to do.
The Divine Liturgy & Other Services
Keep the calendar as much as you can, participating in the
times and seasons even when you cannot participate in the services, but
participate in the services whenever possible. Remember, the laity is a part of
the priesthood as well, and the Divine Liturgy is a type of the liturgy in
Heaven, the temple a part of the
For now, the goal is to learn as much as possible the fullness of Orthodoxy, to fix your thoughts on the Incarnation and the heart's desire for theosis, to liberate the mind as much as possible from heresies and false ideas, and to eventually receive the Holy Mysteries. This is the first part of the ultimate goal of continual theosis or deification/divinization. In this, we seek the death of the passions, the gift of tears, the resurrection of the person, and growing union with Christ Our God. Discuss anything that concerns, worries, distresses, or burdens you overmuch, with your catechetical instructor, and later with your Father Confessor.
I the unworthy, saying these things in fear, not presuming to teach, since I am not blessed to do so, but offering my best counsel in love and from friendship, because it is Christ's will that all men be saved and none perish and because, there being no one else at the moment, it is my privilege with awe to introduce you to the True Faith, in One Church, of the only Lord Jesus Christ, who with the Father, and the Most Holy and Life-giving Spirit, lives and reigns now and ever, and unto all ages of ages.